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Writing Samples
Band 6

As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

#children #leisure #time #indoors #computers #tv #lack
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It is undeniable that the world at the present
time
 has had changed into modern society, resulting in many
children
 are spending
time
 on indoor
activities
 with television watching and computer playing, and they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
time
 on outdoor
activities
. From my point of view, I think that
this
 movement can cause several negative impacts on
children
 life. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in the detail. In my opinion, I believe that lacking outdoor leisure
time
 of younger people can make them lose some natural intelligence,
such
 as the observation
skills
, creative
skills
 and cognitive
skills
, which will cause when
children
 have outdoor hobbies only.
Additionally
, one of the important problems is that younger persons can cause health issues,
for example
,
children
 who are spending more and more
time
 on a screen of computers or televisions tend to be nearsightedness rather than
children
 who spend their
time
 on outdoor hobbies. To solve these problems, I think that parents and others in their family should cooperate together to solve these issues,
Firstly
, parents should provide some outdoor
activities
 that can help to build capacity for their kids,
for instance
, zoo visiting because it can make younger people develop their learning
skills
 due to they can interact with the real natural world.
Furthermore
, the period of television watching and computer playing should be limited by adults in each family. In conclusion, I strongly think that lacking
time
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 outdoor hobbies will create several drawbacks for the future life of many
children
 due to outdoor
activities
 can not only create a lot of knowledge bat
also
 create a lot of
skills
 which will be beneficial for
children
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in their future.
Therefore
, it is recommended that many parents and adults in
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 should provide some outdoor tasks for their kids, and TV watching and computer playing should be under the guidelines of adults in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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