Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Spare
time
activities
for children
play a crucial role in their lives. While
chosen by parents
, these activities
can help children
accomplish the right tasks, activities
that are chosen by children
will make them more decisive in the future
.
On the one hand, if parents
organize free time
activities
for their children
, it will be more beneficial for them. This
means that children
at a young age do not know how to differentiate good activities
from bad. As a result
, parents
should help them pick up the right leisure time
tasks. For instance
, one child wants to play computer games excessively, but this
child does not know that it harms him, so when parents
fill his free time
with outdoor activities
, this
child can utilize his time
efficiently. Thus
, activities
organized by parents
will help youngsters choose the right path.
On the other side, if children
pick up their activities
on their own, it will aid them to be more decisive in the future
. When children
know what they are interested in and what works best for them, they will be more confident about their career or which job to pick in the future
. Research in Australia found that activities
chosen out of personal interest from childhood are more likely to lead to fulfilling career paths. Therefore
, encouraging children
to explore their interests during free time
can indeed contribute to more decisive career decisions in the future
.
In conclusion, although
setting activities
for children
's parents
could help to avoid picking inappropriate activities
, free-time
interests chosen out of personal intentions will aid in making more confident decisions in the future
. As a result
, I personally think that activities
should be chosen by the children
themselves.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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introduction conclusion present
Strengthen the introduction. Currently, it lacks a clear thesis statement. Make sure to provide a more explicit outline of the key arguments you will discuss.
relevant specific examples
The argument in favor of parents organizing activities could be supported with more detailed and varied examples. Currently, the example is somewhat generic; adding further specificity would strengthen the task response.
logical structure
Make sure to logically connect ideas between paragraphs with cohesive devices such as linking words or phrases. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is a strong trait in IELTS task 2 essays. This contributes to a complete response to the prompt.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion clearly summarizes the main points and presents the writer's opinion effectively, which is crucial in achieving a high score for coherence and cohesion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow the arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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