IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
In recent years, an increasing number of youngsters have been encouraged to take a gap year before starting their university life.
Instead
 of doing reckless actions, travel the world or gain working proficiency.
However
, there are some drawbacks and benefits to
this
 statement. To start with, there are hosts of arguments in favour of having
such
experience
Correct article usage
an experience
show examples
. During
this
 short
term
Add a comma
,term
show examples
 adolescents can pay more attention to their desires and decide what they would like to do in the future. After high school students are emotionally exhausted and definitely need to be recharged, in spite of going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university they can make up their minds and plan
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 steps. Travelling is one of the most useful aspects
in forming
Correct your spelling
informing
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 personality and
also
 entertaining,
this
 kind of activity provides
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 amount of new information which can be
beneficent
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 to teenagers in choosing their future career.
On the other hand
, a serious disadvantage of
this
 decision is
risk
Add an article
a risk
the risk
show examples
 of wasting valuable time. When young people decide to take a year out, it is extremely crucial to have a clear plan mapped out.
Otherwise
, they just losing their time and abilities.
Such
 a situation happened to my close friend, who had no idea about what should she do during
this
 period. She tried to find a part-time job with good circumstances, but she didn’t expect that
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 process can
last
 for
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of months. To sum up, with everything that has been stated so far, taking a year break have some pluses and minuses,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are some precautions how to spend
this
 term with profit.
Submitted by olechkakwitka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: