Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion

Nowadays many people are asking about what could be better? Get the perfect position as Director or CEO, getting a
lot
of
money
but not enough
time
for your own or could be better to enjoy life without too many responsibilities and no worry about your job?
By
Change preposition
On

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the one hand, there is a
lot
of examples that senior or executive work more than 60 hrs per week, with less than 5 hrs sleep
time
per night, and not
time
to take care of personal things because for them what is most important is to work and
money
. They can not allow them to think on something like a beach or walk around the park with a friend. What they love most is getting a new business, got a new promotion, earn a big contract with the government or even more, sold the big house that will represent a
lot
of profitable
money
.
On the other hand
, there is a
lot
of people that love to take care of themself and their family, friends and partners. Always they like to ask for help at the
next
birthday party and enjoy life with a perfect wine or even just simple to expend a lunchtime with a colleague. If they had lost a promotion or even a bonus
although
they think that they need to be ready and prepared for the
next
moment. They have worried because of the university fee of their kids, the summer vacations that they can not enjoy because they did not save some
money
, and the problem is that, they do not look for a better job y or even look for some opportunities to earn additional worry,
instead
of
this
, they preferred to go outdoor and do it. My conclusion as a Manager is that you have to look for balance, not to be a workaholic and put your work before your family but at the same
time
, you must look for opportunities that can improve your salary, the family and your
time
is
first
but you have to be smart to be ready for new
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity

The noun phrase opportunity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that can offer you to increase your bank account, and
then
be ready for
further
party.
Submitted by florel1 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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