IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #amount #time #money #protection #animals #population
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 century, the importance of maintaining the
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 safe is highly discussed by biologists and people from a variety of science
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. It has
being
Change the verb form
been
show examples
 increasing the idea of protecting the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and its
ecossytem
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
 balance through polices that protects wild
animals
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, there are people that
claims
Change the verb form
claim
show examples
 the attention of
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
 and other private initiatives to human care needs. We know there are millions of people that are dying because of
subnutrition
Correct your spelling
sub nutrition
, lack of clean water to drink, in summary, lack of minimal conditions to survive. I believe the importance of maintaining the
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and their
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is essential to decrease the impact of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 on
Earth
Correct article usage
the Earth
show examples
 ecosystem, not only because of the
animals
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 because of human beings. When an animal becomes
extint
Correct your spelling
extinct
, it will probably impact several other ecosystems
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a wide extent.
For example
Linking Words
, if a predator is not available
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one specific
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
, the
ecossytem
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
 will be impacted by the increase of
animals
Use synonyms
 that would feed the predator that does not exist anymore.
This
Linking Words
 is
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
show examples
 target of
reserach
Correct your spelling
research
 for agriculture
for example
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when a predator of a type of insect
that is
Linking Words
 considered a plague for a
specifi
Correct your spelling
specific
 agriculture. Resulting in
economically
Change the adverb
economical
show examples
 loss for
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 population.
Therefore
Linking Words
, applying
investiments
Correct your spelling
investments
investment
 on preserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 is so
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 as applying the
Use synonyms
investiment
Correct your spelling
investment
 for
resolution
Correct article usage
the resolution
show examples
 of human population problems. Of
couse
Correct your spelling
course
that is
Linking Words
 necessary to apply a fair balance between the amount of
Use synonyms
investiment
Correct your spelling
investment
 in each
inititiave
Correct your spelling
initiative
, but keeping
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mind that
Use synonyms
investiment
Correct your spelling
investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 animal protection is not a waste of money, but an
Use synonyms
investiment
Correct your spelling
investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
 being present and future.
Submitted by evewilkens on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem stability
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • eco-tourism
  • scientific research
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • financial cost
  • social issues
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fund allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: