More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Despite much investment in public
transportation
,
people
still prefer to possess their own vehicles, especially
cars
, when they commute to work or on holidays.
This
might seems to provide them more convenience,
however
, there are
also
many problems accompanying the usage of
cars
. Some of the problems will be discussed below together with suggestions for alternatives.
Firstly
, car usage has reportedly caused a huge amount of exhaust and
therefore
, negatively affect the environment and quality of life. As a matter of fact, environmentalists have been raising much concern over the use of fuel for personal
transportation
, which has released
excessive
Correct article usage
an excessive

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
amount of carbon dioxide into the air.
As a result
, the recent quality of air in crowded cities has almost always
on
Add a missing verb
been on

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
the alert level.
This
leads to detrimental repercussions on residentials' health and
also
on the habitat.
Secondly
, the increased figure in car sales and usage
also
goes along with the rising number of car accidents due to unconscious driving or rushing behaviours.
For instance
, one of the prominent reasons for
people
to choose
cars
among other types of
transportation
is the ability to choose when and how fast to drive to their destinations. At some points when they are in a hurry to work, they would probably choose
cars
instead
of running to the
train
station and spare some more minutes waiting with the risk of
train
delay. In that case, they will more likely use their own
cars
and speed up, risking crashing their vehicles with others'. In other situations,
people
might choose
cars
so it is more suitable to drive home late after a party as trains have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
schedule limit.
Therefore
, they might possibly not be in
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word unconscious.

show examples
unconscious state of mind when driving, leading to high chances of accidents. For the reasons above, I personally believe public
transportation
is preferable for the safety of everyone on the streets. So as to make it more convenient, governments and
train
stations managers can consider increasing the number of trains and schedule.
For example
,
last
weekend trains might be till 1am so party
people
or those who are on late-night shifts will be able to take. Another suggestion would be researching and expanding
train
routes so it reaches more areas and customers. More public transports users will
also
decrease the
amount
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier the amount does not fit with the countable noun emissions. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

show examples
of emissions on
cars
. In conclusion,
although
cars
might be very convenient at times, excessive reliance on
this
type of transports brings about many problems for the environment and for the safety of drivers. Investment
into
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
public
transportation
would be a possible solution to help ease
this
matter.
Submitted by phucngo.291092 on

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: