IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: 1. Say how well you know your friend. 2. Describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has. 3. Explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

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Dear Ms.Maha I am writing to you
this
Linking Words
 letter to suggest you a new
sports
Use synonyms
trainer
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the summer school camp. I would like to recommend to you a
sports
Use synonyms
trainer
Use synonyms
 called Mona she is my friend. She has a Master's degree in Health and
Sports
Use synonyms
 Sciences from Harvard University
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, she has
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of skills that are required for
this
Linking Words
 job as a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
trainer
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, she has extremely good communication and personal skills that are needed to deal with others.
In addition
Linking Words
, she has an experience at IAU as a lecturer in the
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 of
sports
Use synonyms
 and health during the period of 2019-2022.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, she was a
trainer
Use synonyms
 at Fitness Time gym
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 until 2016. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, I thought she
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the right person for
this
Linking Words
 occupation. Thank you for considering
this
Linking Words
. I look to
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 response as soon as possible. Best regards, Sarah Almutairi

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coherence cohesion
The letter is well structured overall, but clarity can be improved by avoiding unnecessary redundancy. For instance, 'Also, she has a lots of skills' can be modified to 'She possesses numerous skills needed for this job.'
task achievement
There are some grammatical and typographical errors. For instance, 'that located in UK' should be 'located in the UK'. It's important to proofread your letter to avoid such mistakes.
task achievement
The letter addresses all the points mentioned in the prompt, providing a detailed response which demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.
task achievement
The letter is polite and formal, maintaining a suitable tone for the purpose of recommendation.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are well-organized generally, with each one tackling specific aspects of the recommendation, which enhances readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ardent enthusiast
  • physical education
  • sportsmanship
  • pragmatic approach
  • diligence
  • team spirit
  • engaging personality
  • mentorship
  • leadership qualities
  • communication skills
  • first-aid certified
  • discipline
  • adaptability
  • youth mentor
  • enthusiastic
  • influential coach
  • role model
  • positive reinforcement
  • camaraderie
  • empathy
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