Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, people believe
children
should not be allowed to make daily choices on their own, like which food to eat or which clothes to wear. They declare, the huge individualism that will be caused in the community is the main reason for their severe opposition. While
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction While. Consider removing the comma.

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there is another group
who
Correct pronoun usage
that

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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believe that
children
should have free will about matters that are related to them.
This
essay will get both arguments under examination and
finally
dedicate the writer’s opinion. At
first
, let get precise to the
first
group and see what exactly
this
whole individualism idea trying to say. If you have ever seen little boys or girls, you probably know they have a tendency not to do what they have been told
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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many occasions. Opponents claim we should not pay attention to their wishes and make
Add an article
the decision
a decision

The noun phrase decision seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions

It seems that decision may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for them as adults. They point out if we do not
so
Add a missing verb
do so

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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,
this
tendency will be exacerbated and turn into an unstoppable appetite for doing whatever they want without any limit very soon. To illustrate, in many cases, we should consider others in the decision-making process and change our priorities. But imagine, we have a boy here who had done anything he wanted before reaching adultness with his parent’s full support, regardless of any obstacles. So, it is crystal clear that for keeping the rhythm he always has had, he will have ignored everybody by the time of selection and just think to his own benefit. On the opposite frontier, many parents argue that numerous abilities can
formed
Change the verb form
be formed

The verb formed after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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in
children
during
uprising
Correct article usage
the uprising

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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process, by
give
Change the verb form
giving

The verb give may be in the wrong form after the preposition by. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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them more authority in relative matters. Advocators say
this
early facing with simple choices and their consequences will make them ready for more complicated issues
on
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the future.
In other words
, they are mentioning a skill called “
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving

It appears that problem solving is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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” which has been received special attention as a unique ability these years.
Thus
,
children
who have started dealing with basic selection are more likely to possess soft skills like
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving

It appears that problem solving is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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on adultness compering with others.
moreover
, for the closeness of mind, you can find super creative and productive persons, were much freer in many dimensions
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their childhood. To sum up, while many parents may put
this
argument forward, that
children
, should not have free will on a vast scale, I firmly believe authority
in
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at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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young ages is the key point of being successful in future.
Submitted by bigblackbear1996 on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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