IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your an

#minutes #topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to discuss the pros and cons of the product's
advertisement
Use synonyms
 whether it is beneficial or not and how it really affects people's life. According to
Linking Words
first
Add an article
the first
a first
show examples
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
, 80% of people buy products just by the appearance of it in the
advertisement
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, whenever you see
youtube
Correct article usage
a youtube
show examples
 video, it starts with the endorsement of either
food
Correct article usage
a food
show examples
 channel or
clothing
Correct article usage
a clothing
show examples
 app.
Advertisement
Use synonyms
 sometimes changes our mind and we opt for checking that website and ended up buying things
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not even essential. Advertising trend nowadays is so booming and the way they represent their products, people generally
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 impulsive buying. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, the good thing about
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is that it gives us information about the new products in the market.
For instance
Linking Words
, once
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was watching some
podcast
Fix the agreement mistake
podcasts
show examples
 and
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 some
add
Correct your spelling
ads
show examples
 pops up regarding
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 massage roller. It looks appealing and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 saw that whole
addvertisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 googled to see from where
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can buy that roller. When
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 checked online
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 review the product was already out
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two months but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 got to know just when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 came across that
advertisement
Use synonyms
. I bought
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
show examples
 it turned out to be
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
 good face massage and
result
Add an article
the result
show examples
 is really worth buying. I believe that, even though
advertisement
Use synonyms
 has its own disadvantages, the best part is, without it, we will not come to know what new trend is going on or which new product has launched. All in all, if we abstain ourselves from buying needless thing,
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best thing in our lives.
Submitted by brijal_desai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: