IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
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In many historical areas and landmark venues around the world, there is often a large difference between the entry fee that
foreigners
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 pay in comparison with
locals
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. In some places,
foreigners
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 may pay up to fifteen times more than local tourists to visit the same place. In my opinion, I agree that
locals
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 should pay less than foreign visitors, but the difference should not be so high that it feels like extortion for non-
locals
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. At
first
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, the reason for
this
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 discrepancy is rather obvious: Visitors from outside the country are an important source of income for many countries.
Therefore
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, it is in the host country's financial interest to maximize the profit generated from every single tourist as much as possible.
For example
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, in Petra, a local can gaze upon the iconic Treasury for as little as $5, whereas an outsider has to fork over $70 for the same privilege.
In addition
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 to
this
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, I believe that
locals
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 should be able to have better access to their own culture and heritage, and a pricey ticket can deter
locals
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 who usually know other cheaper venues.
However
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, some people argue that the difference paid by foreign tourists can be fairly steep. Charging outsiders an exorbitant fee can deter foreign tourism and backfire on the host nation.
Thus
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, people in charge should strike a fine balance between maximising profits and keeping a growing flow of
foreigners
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 flocking into the country, which is the bread and butter for many nations. In conclusion, I agree that there should be a markup on tickets paid by people coming from abroad to visit local attractions, but the gap should not be so wide that it discourages
foreigners
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 from visiting altogether.
Submitted by talal.alkhaldi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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