Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

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Introduction

A big salary is much more important than

job

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satisfaction

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. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Body paragraph 1

In recent years

job

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satisfaction

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become one of the most discussed issues, particularly in workplaces. Some argue that a big salary is more important compared to

job

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satisfaction

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. I disagree with that opinion as I tend

money

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can provide you with plenty of luxuries and

money

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Body paragraph 2

First and foremost,

money

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guarantees your abilities. Individuals who have higher incomes can provide their family daily needs

such

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as education, and health care.

For instance

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, in Indonesia, Jakarta has one of the most expensive healthcare systems between other regions. Citizens with less financials might face a struggle or limit to access proper healthcare.

Additionally

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, people from the lower class have no opportunities to get a higher education.

Body paragraph 3

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there is a phrase that says ‘’

money

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can’t buy happiness’’, but in fact,

money

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can afford comfortably. Through

money

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, people can experience various comfortable aspects,

such

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as living in a more supportive environment and having an opportunity to explore diverse cuisines.

For example

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, low-income workers might live in unfriendly settings with limited amenities.

Moreover

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, low-class resident tends to have a low-quality food grade and never have a chance to explore the cuisine around them.

Conclusion

In conclusion, having a better income is highly beneficial because it provides you

better

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a better

show examples

lifestyle and brings a comfortable environment.

However

Linking Words

job

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satisfaction

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cannot fully cover your daily needs in case of difficult situations and emergencies.

Furthermore

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, recently modern lifestyle is known to be pricey and requires a proper financial situation.

ru.kabiru.biru

Nov 22, 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. In this case, you should compare both job satisfaction and a big salary, providing arguments for the significance of each. This would make your response more comprehensive.

task achievement

Include more detailed and diverse examples to support your points. Examples should clearly demonstrate the benefits or drawbacks of either a big salary or job satisfaction.

coherence cohesion

Give equal focus to the opposite viewpoint. The essay mainly focuses on the advantages of a high salary without adequately discussing job satisfaction or why some may prioritize it.

coherence cohesion

Strive for better cohesion in each paragraph. While your ideas are logical, they should seamlessly connect to each other within and between paragraphs for a smoother flow.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction and conclusion present, helping the reader to follow the argument.

task achievement

The main argument concerning the advantages of a big salary over job satisfaction is clear and established early in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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