IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a chilcd's development as other subjects, so it should be a compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that
art
Use synonyms
 is necessary in high schools as it plays a vital role in the development of children and its importance is equal to other subjects. From my perspective, I completely agree with the statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay cites and provides evidence. It is apparent that
art
Use synonyms
 is involved in many requirements
such
Linking Words
 as originality, creativity and critical thinking.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can help children to develop these skills as they have to feel the emotion and realize the problem needed to put in.
Students
Use synonyms
 have to spend time looking at the details and
then
Linking Words
 think about the reason why the artists used that style, potentially leading to enhancing the imagination and diversity in mind.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it aids
students
Use synonyms
 in showing off their talent to others, which is a fundamental factor that leads to an increase in confidence.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can improve their ability to think and solve a variety of problems in life. Another advantage of
art
Use synonyms
 classes is that they provide the student with an outlet for expression and a sense of accomplishment.
Students
Use synonyms
 can express their feelings in the
art
Use synonyms
 by using different colours since they can combine to illustrate the meaning of the
art
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the advent of
art
Use synonyms
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 to accomplish their target which is to comprehend the meaning of the
art
Use synonyms
, resulting in aspiring to achieve the achievement.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can explore new cultures, traditions and perspectives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it helps broaden their horizons and foster a sense of global citizenship. In conclusion, I totally agree that
art
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in developing practical skills and global friendship to express their feeling together.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In the first body paragraph, try to elaborate more on how exactly art enhances imagination and diversity in mind by providing specific examples or scenarios.
task achievement
In the second body paragraph, you can add more concrete examples, perhaps real-life instances or studies, to support the point about art helping in accomplishing targets and achieving a sense of accomplishment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points are logically connected with clear transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will further enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and clearly presented.
task achievement
The arguments are logical and well-reasoned, reflecting a strong understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: