IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is becoming increasingly expensive for museums to be open to the public. What would be the best solution to keep them open in your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days museums receive
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 visitors.
Hence
Linking Words
, managing them has become expensive.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 possible solutions to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem. To commence with, there are various reasons behind the aforementioned issues
such
Linking Words
 as reduced number of visitors, lack of funding from government and lack of adverts.
Firstly
Linking Words
, to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists the museums can conduct attractive programs
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same
premisis
Correct your spelling
premises
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the building can have food stalls,
rides
Correct word choice
and rides
show examples
 for kids.
This
Linking Words
 will attract people of all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age groups to visit the
museum
Use synonyms
. Few other activities
such
Linking Words
 as book stalls
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 the place enthusiastic.
Also
Linking Words
, the management can conduct quiz competitions in the facility
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to spread awareness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 exhibits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to increase the awareness among public
museum
Use synonyms
 authorities can emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advertising about the gallery.
For example
Linking Words
, the science
museum
Use synonyms
 can publish adverts about the exhibits
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media. They can
also
Linking Words
 introduce discounts on entry
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will help in increasing the profit and improve the number of visitors. The lack of funds allocated for the improvement of the
museum
Use synonyms
 is yet another issue.
This
Linking Words
 can be solved by collecting funds from
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. They can
also
Linking Words
 take
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 from people who visit.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
introducing
Change preposition
by introducing
show examples
 attractive activities , by publishing advertisements and by collecting funds from
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
, the
museum
Use synonyms
 can receive more income.
As a result
Linking Words
, the cost incurred to keep the gallery open can be easily managed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be more nuanced in your discussion of potential solutions, exploring the pros and cons of each to demonstrate depth of understanding.
task achievement
You have effectively identified the challenges faced by museums, which sets a solid foundation for your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas for solutions are engaging and show creativity in thinking about how to attract visitors to museums.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: