Many people nowadays travel abroad for their university education. Why do people do this? Would you consider doing this yourself and why?

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In the
present-day
Correct your spelling
present day

The word present-day doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
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university
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the university

The noun phrase university seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is one of the factors that every company need to concern
when
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about when

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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there are candidates for the open position. The ranking of
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

university
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the university

The noun phrase university seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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has played an essential role in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms

It seems that term may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of quality for the graduate. So, that
make
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makes

The verb make does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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many people concern
the
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about the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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ranking, some decide to go abroad to the
other
Correct quantifier usage
another

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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country
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they want to graduate from a high-ranking
university
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with,
for
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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those who go abroad for their education might see that the higher ranking, the better opportunity to work with high reputation enterprise. Many companies with
excellent
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an excellent

The noun phrase excellent reputation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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reputation
Fix the agreement mistake
reputations

It seems that reputation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will review
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the profile
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profile
Fix the agreement mistake
profiles

It seems that profile may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of those who graduate from high-ranking universities
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

move on to the lower ranking and so on. And,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

abroad is a
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime

The word life time seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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chance
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that it might not happen again. It is a
chance
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that we can live in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun country. Consider making a change.

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country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to learn
their
Change preposition
about their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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cultures, lives and to make us grow up and shape ours view to be less narrow than before. In my opinion, if I have a
chance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I would take it because it means that I will have an opportunity to gain a unique experience outside my
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. And it
Add a missing verb
is clearly
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clearly
Replace the word
clear

The word clearly doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that if I decide to
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

abroad, I can
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

what I want with
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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unique knowledge that a high-ranking
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provide
Change the verb form
provides

The plural verb provide does not appear to agree with the singular subject a high-ranking university. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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for me.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I can explore the world to see the difference between cultures,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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can make me choose which
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

I want to live
.
Change preposition
in.

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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In summary,
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

abroad is a perfect
chance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for people to work with high reputation companies, and it will make us gains some experience that if we stay in
ours
Correct the word
our

It appears that the word ours is not the correct form of the possessive pronoun. Consider changing it.

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country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, we would not gain
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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