Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
era, technology is highly advanced and almost all information is accessible from our gadgets.
Hence
our gadgets like phones or computers are connected to the Internet, we can read books, and magazines and
also
know every news from other parts of the world. With
this
development of technology, we can
also
see historical objects or artworks by computer. There is some opinion that
museums
and craft
arcade
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arcades
show examples
are not needed since we can see
art
online like online exhibitions. Here I provide my opinion about
this
thing. I disagree with the opinion that offline or on-site craft
arcade
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arcades
show examples
and
hall
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halls
show examples
are not needed and we have to enjoy it just online.
First,
in the
art
galleries and
museums
, the
art
and historical objects are not just on display but there is
also
background story and music related to the
art
that can bring ambience and we can discuss it with other visitors.
Besides
, we can see the details of the
art
. Let us say
art
painting. If we look at it directly, there are details like texture, and the mix of colour and we can feel the painter's emotion in the
art
. Another reason is in the
art
galleries and
museums
we can talk to people face to face, with employers who work there and with other visitors who are
also
interested in
art
and
museums
.The employer can give us the story behind it and maybe give us some information about the
art
or statue that we found there. We can not experience things like
this
if we see the
art
through the computer. So
that is
all the reason why I prefer to come to
museums
and
art
galleries rather than see them online.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and addresses both views to a certain extent, but some of your ideas could be more fully extended and developed with specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an acceptable structure, but you can improve the cohesion by providing clearer transitions between ideas and ensuring each paragraph flows logically to the next. This will enhance the overall coherence of your argument.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, aim to develop your points more thoroughly. Include a wider range of cohesive devices, and consider varying your sentence structure to add interest and demonstrate a better command of language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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