IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #music #impact #effect
Some people claim that contemporary
music
 has issues on the youth generation whereas others think the opposite and defend the benefits of to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
music
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of
this
 situation and explain the reasons why
music
 has more pros than cons for teenagers. Listening
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
 is good for all ages because it can change our mood quick and bring different emotions. The youth people have been overstimulated
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 many devices and they have had some issues with tasks that required concentration. Lo-fi beats,
for example
, can regulate the heartbeats and
breathing
Change the verb form
breathe
show examples
 in a way that helps to keep
focus
Add an article
the focus
show examples
 on one task for many hours.
Therefore
,
this
 type of
music
 could be very helpful nowadays with attention disorders, which becomes more and more common among teens. Another beneficial example in the kids is the lyrics because it is a kind of poem with a message
behind
Correct pronoun usage
itbehind
show examples
. For many years,
music
 teaches through its stories about culture, experiences and impressions of the world.
Therefore
 style, lyrics and rhythm are always changing to adapt to the new generation of listeners or keeping
Add an article
the
show examples
memory alive.
On the other hand
, it is not all songs that we can consider beneficial for youngs. In
this
 phase of life, they are still figuring out their characters and personalities and some noise as referred to as
music
, could not be good for them.
For example
, Brazilian funk is very popular among young and teens,
however
, the lyrics are always incentivizing
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 commit crimes, rape women and consume drugs.
Therefore
, if I had a teen close to me, I would never allow him to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 those kinds of
music
. In my opinion,
music
 is extremely good and could help in different moments in life, especially for our kids; but requires the attention of the parents to overseas what type of
music
 their children are listening to. To conclude,
music
 has by far and large more benefits than problems to influence young people because it can change emotions or tell experiences, even though some type of
music
 could have a negative impact.
Submitted by lele on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifestyles and behaviours
  • glorify
  • distract
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • identity formation
  • source of inspiration
  • social and political messages
  • amplifying
  • accessible
  • influential
  • parental and educational guidance
  • critically analyze
  • responsible consumption
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: