IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work
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Undoubtedly, hard
work
Use synonyms
 is a key to success due to which, some
people
Use synonyms
 contribute with greater efforts in their studies and
work
Use synonyms
 in comparison to others. In my opinion, continuous workload whether it is for educational or job purposes will have detrimental effects which will be justified in the following paragraphs along with the reasons
of
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for
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such
Linking Words
 dedication. There are several reasons
of
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for
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 working harder.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, it helps
people
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 to achieve their goals. In
this
Linking Words
 competitive world, working harder enables an individual to earn more money and provides wider career opportunities including promotional rewards and higher wages than others.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 can enjoy higher social status and luxurious
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 government recognizes NREGA
laborers
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labourers
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 who owner
hard-
Correct your spelling
hard work
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work
Use synonyms
 by
an
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apply
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additional financial support in order to improve their living standards.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it leads to
self development
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self-development
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. A person has to face various challenges
Correct pronoun usage
that
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make them
to
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apply
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overcome the difficulties and excel in a particular area of their interest by making them diligent towards their passion.
However
Linking Words
, extensive
work
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 can lead to physical or metabolic disorders. If
people
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 are over-indulged
into
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in
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 their
work
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 or study, they would avoid having
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
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 diet.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
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 it may cause serious
illness
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illnesses
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 like hypertension and diabetes.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine had suffered
through
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from
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 chronic low blood pressure as he started skipping his dinner due to working overtime.
Moreover
Linking Words
, overwork disturbs
the
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apply
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social relationships. It does not allow
people
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 to spend
their
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apply
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quality time with their family or to attend any social gatherings. Continuous
work
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 burden without having any break which can possibly lead to acute stress syndrome. It is evident that the couples who
work
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 longer hours tend to have
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of
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apply
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attention towards each other which creates several misunderstandings. Acquiring recognition, success and growth are contributing factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 encourage
people
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 to be devoted. Working without limit negatively impacts an individual’s health along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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personal and social life.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
What to do next:
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