Nowadays the internet has become extremely commercialized- do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that without the

internet

lives will be complicated for society, often found gigantically commercialized in day-to-day life. I will agree that it is a more socialised and common variant in the corner of the earth.

This

essay will

also

provide relevant arguments and examples on the

internet

that why and how does it extremely commercialized in the following paragraphs. To embark with the arguments, the

internet

is the only way that people are attaching to their international neighbours.

This

means that it is extremely common because of communities’ demand and it allows to others demonstrates and launch the business abroad. When it comes to the

internet

, it is almost every corner of the cosmos, where scientists will be there by using an

internet

connection though it is

also

work in the space station.

Thus

, the

internet

has become extremely popular in many sectors where humans browse the

internet

to converse with their relatives who are in space.

Furthermore

, the

internet

not only allows scientist to connect with their peers but

also

help to gathers data from the other planet and galaxy which existed for a long time.

However

, it uses in uncounted ways where all countries measure their GDP rate and revenue by the

internet

server, even in all IT sectors can seek employees because of

this

reason.

For instance

, according to experts, states that in these days ordinary people find complexity to survive without browsing the

internet

, how will react the future generation.

Hence

, it is true that the

internet

is extremely commercialized to fulfil people’s demands. In conclusion, as it has given points said that at present the

internet

is not a threatening issue but extremely popular for the mentioned reasons. In my point of view, I will accept

this

statement that the

internet

covers the world by providing excellent

internet

service to gather international workmates socially.

Submitted by patelhardik2199 on Sat Oct 16 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays the internet has become extremely commercialized- do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more people are using the internet to do their tasks rather then doing in person. (e.g. banking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think students in primary school / secondary school should be taught how to manage money because it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree?