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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, people have children later in life than in the past. What are the causes of this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #children #life #outweigh
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In view of the fact that a large number of
people
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 do not give priority to have a child in their life,
this
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 trend has attracted much attention. Multiple factors have driven
this
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 transition, and in terms of the security of pregnant
women
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 and the long-term social advancement, I believe the problems of
this
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 change outweigh its positive impact. In contemporary society, many
people
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 have busier careers and lifestyles far than before. Particularly,
women
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 have more educational and career opportunities,
therefore
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 they do have the choice to master their lives
instead
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 of just focusing on their families.
Moreover
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, the expenditure of raising offspring has tremendously increased to the extent that some families could not afford it. These various conditions justify the change that
people
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 have
children
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 later. It is not a good phenomenon for a country as considering that declining birth rates will harm society advancement. Labour shortages may be the
first
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 problem we need to take into consideration. Fewer
children
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 now mean fewer teenagers in the future.
This
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 demographic change, with an increasing proportion of
children
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, will inevitably cause labour shortages in the not-too-distance future and has a negative effect on social development. Simultaneously, high-aged pregnancy would drive
women
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 to be exposed to danger. Some researches show that pregnant
women
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 who are older would more likely to suffer from diseases and bear more risks. Admittedly,
this
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 choice
also
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 enables
people
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 to have more time to achieve their career goals and parents could have
children
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 when they are prepared financially. I can fully understand why some
people
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 delay parenthood, but it’s hard to deny that it will reduce productivity in the long term. In conclusion, as far as the security of pregnant
women
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 and the long-term social development are considered,
people
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 delay to have
children
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 is harmful to older pregnant
women
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 and the social productivity, but maybe beneficial for individuals’ careers.
Submitted by yang-luo19 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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