Too much money is spent on repairing old buildings instead of constructing new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The line chart indicates the numbers of part-time employers in 4 countries in the

United

Correct your spelling

united

show examples

kingdom in 1980 and 2010. It is clear that Wales had the highest percentage of people who have part-time jobs in 1980 and 2010, and Scotland had the lowest numbers in1980

however

, by 2010, both countries saw a noticeable increase. In 1980, 25% of people in England worked half-time compare to Wales that had the highest number about 35% and both of them had a slight rose in 2010

also

Scotland even though, in 1980 had the lowest figures, in 2010 climb up and reach to approximately 20%. Northern Ireland choose a different path and was the only country that had a negligible decline over the period and in 1998 had about 15% of people who worked part-time and decreased a couple of percentage in 2010.

Submitted by hesam.masoud.ielts on Sat Oct 16 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

141 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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