IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In the complex
Correct your spelling
world
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word
Correct your spelling
world
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 today, the knowledge of
technology
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 significantly develop.
People
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 can easily get benefits from
this
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 modern development.
However
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, some individuals believe that the more development of
technology
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, the more distance between the rich and the poor while others argue. Personally, I agree with the
first
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 idea.
This
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 essay will show you the reasons
of
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for
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 both sides. Obtaining the advantages of
technology
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,
people
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needs
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need
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 to access
to
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apply
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the internet which is rarely used in the lower
class
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 or even some middle
class
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. To illustrate, using
FaceTime
Correct article usage
the FaceTime
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 method
instead
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 of meeting face to face is more convenient only for the upper
class
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 while it is hardly impossible for the lower
class
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 who live in the suburbs or remote areas where
internet
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the internet
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 cannot be accessible.
In other words
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, without money,
people
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 receive any benefits from
this
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 innovation.
Moreover
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, the poor do not have enough time to learn a new
technology
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 which is dramatically improved. They have to do essential things to earn a living
first
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. So, there is no time left for them.
This
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 means while the rich can easily learn and make use of
technology
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, the poor are left behind.
On the other hand
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, if the government use
technology
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 in order to increase the standard of living for all
people
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, it seems that
technology
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 can be lessened the gap between the rich and the poor.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 using the innovation to improve the system of transportation, all the lower and upper
class
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 can not only save time but
also
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more
Add a missing verb
be more
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 convenient while
traveling
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travelling
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 around the country. Having considered
this
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 matter carefully, in my perspective even
technology
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 brings a lot of benefits to
people
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,
this
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 innovation increases more distance between
people
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 who lack
of
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apply
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money and those who have enough.
Therefore
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, my
suggest
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suggestion
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 is government should use it wisely
otherwise
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 it will create more problems due to the larger gap.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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