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Band 5

There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#animals’ #species #world #people #animals #time #beings
A lot of specific kinds of animals have
been
Change to the active voice
vanished
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vanished
Correct your spelling
banished
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 from the universe. It is considered by some
people
 that these species must be saved from
this
 terrible situation, while others consider that primary focus should be upon problems of
human
Add an article
the human
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 race and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with
this
 point of view. On the one hand, some
people
 think that nature has given a specific role to every living organism and that role might even be unknown to mankind, still, to maintain the balance of
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
, it is mandatory to respect
this
 natural distribution. Animals, being only capable of basic instincts, depends upon human beings for struggles regarding survival,
hence
, in order to aid them, they must be provided essential help.
On the other hand
, it is commonly thought that human beings are facing a lot of serious issues these days and emphasis should be on finding the
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
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 solutions and I agree. In the modern world, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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advances in the field of agriculture and technology,
people
 are still lacking the basic necessities of life,
for example
, free education, enough food and stable jobs etc. A lot of
people
 still go hungry by the end of the day.There is not enough food
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 to meet
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 demands of the general population. A quarter of the world's population is still living below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
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 line. These serious problems
demands
Change the verb form
demand
show examples
 quick and practical solutions. In conclusion, while
people
 have their view, in my opinion, the current state of affairs regarding various issues of mankind needs to be pondered upon in order to find a timely and secure way of managing
this
 disastrous situation.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Extinction, Endangered species, Conservation, Habitat, Ecosystem, Biodiversity, Ethical responsibility, Preservation, Ecosystem services, Wildlife protection, Poverty alleviation, Healthcare, Climate action, Resource allocation, Food security, Interconnectedness, Sustainable development
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