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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what e

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Introduction
It is often argued that global sporting events help a nation to showcase its
country
Use synonyms
 worldwide,
while
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 some believe that
this
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 is a waste of money.
This
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 essay will discuss both points in detail.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, large-scale international tournaments
such
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 as the Olympics and FIFA World Cup could bring a
country
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's culture to the world.
For instance
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, when the 2023 Cricket World Cup was held in Sri Lanka, the
country
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 became one of the top destinations for tourism in 2023.
Moreover
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, a large number of videos were shared on social media, complementing the nature of Sri Lankans. When an
event
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 is held in a particular
country
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, people will travel there to watch the games. They
also
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 visit the
country
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 during the
event
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, and tourists will get to see its beauty and culture as well.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, when a government plans a big
event
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, it needs a large amount of money to spend.
This
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 will raise several issues in a
country
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.
Firstly
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, most nations will not reuse the resources again once they
utlize
Correct your spelling
utilise
 them for the
event
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.
For example
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, when Qatar hosted the FIFA tournament, they built a stadium with container boxes only for the game. And they did not use any of the locations
thereafter
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. If the state could utilise these funds to develop infrastructure, most people would benefit.
Conclusion
In conclusion, hosting an international sports
event
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 could bring both advantages and disadvantages to a
country
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as promoting the
country
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 during the
event
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 and wasting money on something which will never be used again.

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task response
State your own view clearly. The question asks how far you agree that these events are too costly. Your essay shows both sides, but it does not say which side you support more.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain why showing a country to the world brings long-term good, such as more visitors, more jobs, or more trade. Also explain why the cost can hurt schools, health care, or roads.
task response
Use facts with care. The Sri Lanka example is not fully clear, and the link between the event and tourism needs more support. A clear, well-known example or a more general example would be safer.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part plan is clear: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the link between each point and its example more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more naturally. For example, do not start a new sentence with “And”. You can write: “However, these places were not used much after the event.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about people travelling to the host country. Put this in one short, clear point, then add a new idea about how tourism may help local business.
coherence and cohesion
Check small errors that can slow the reader, such as missing spaces after full stops and spelling: “utlize” should be “utilise” or “use”.
task response
You discuss both main views and give an example for each side.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and each body part has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
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