IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that children should be taught at school how to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #school #parents
Many individuals are of the opinion that at schools
kids
 must be educated on good parenting skills. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 notion. I shall elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 views in upcoming paragraphs. It is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 irrefutable fact
kids
 who have suffered a harrowing
childhood
 end up being a broken
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
, either they have low moral values or become addicted to violence and crime
therefore
, it is necessary that the
next
 generation is protected from being victims of
such
 disheartening
childhood
. If
kids
 are taught about how good
parents
 they can be in school,
this
 can have a good impact on their life ahead as good
parents
instead
 of easting away their life due to scared
childhood
.
In addition
 to that, it is a known fact that children are a replica
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
parents
. No man is perfect, even
parents
 make mistakes in their parenting style and
kids
later on
Add the comma(s)
, later on,
show examples
 tend to repeat the same mistakes with their
kids
.
This
 could be avoided to a greater extend by teaching the
kids
 the right method of parenting.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is no
such
 proper method of parenting, it differs from one kid to another, some qualities or traditions that are being handed down could be eliminated.
For instance
, most Indian
parent s
Correct your spelling
parents
show examples
 have the tendency to compare the grades of their children with others grades, without realising that they are affecting the self-esteem of the child by means of comparison. Introducing parenting skills as a subject in school could definitely encourage the
kids
 to put
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 end to
such
practises
Correct your spelling
practices
show examples
 in their homes in future. To sum up, it is ideal to teach
kids
 the correct method of parenting from early years as
this
 could protect their
next generation
Add a hyphen
next-generation
show examples
 from being distressed due to their own
childhood
 experiences.
This
 could, to some extend, prevent the working parenting habits from being passed down to their younger ones as well.
Submitted by jubee.varghese on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: