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Band 7

In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #society #conflicts #violence #world #women
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Some people believed that due to the characteristics of men, our society was historically full of conflicts and violence. It was more tranquil and better if the
world
Use synonyms
 was administered by women. While I partly agree with
this
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 statement, I still will support the other idea that covers the explanations why I
also
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 encourage males to have the right to rule. On the one hand, it would bring many advantages if females can govern the
world
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. Inhabitants would have a high-end life
,
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apply
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 since hard-working is one of the excellent characteristics of women, so they would have more policies to motivate populations to do their utmost to thrive in the economy.
Furthermore
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,
instead
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 of investing a huge amount of money in developing the military, females would spend it on improving the health care system, education, and entertainment. It helps citizens have the fully modern and necessary infrastructure to have a better life.
Moreover
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, males tend to enjoy something related to violence.
Therefore
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, if women can control the
world
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, fewer conflicts and controversial problems would happen.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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 beneficial for the
world
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 to be ruled by men. The residents would be controlled easily since they are powerful enough to set up strict punishment and force the inhabitants to follow.
For instance
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, in the past, the king of Vietnam had a policy that made citizens mature enough to participate in the army, and the punishment for people who did not follow is that they would be held in prison for a long time. Saving nations from the forays of enemies is the
next
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 advantage of having male governments. Since they would spend more money to modernize and develop the army, it helps them have the power to confront the wars of other countries. In short, both female and male controllers can govern their nation in a good way.
Nevertheless
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, each one has different methods to rule and develop their
world
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.
Submitted by hnphu79 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • male-dominated leadership
  • empathetic
  • cooperative
  • inclusive society
  • governance
  • diversity
  • sustainable peace
  • social welfare
  • collaborative approach
  • international relations
  • leadership qualities
  • decision-making processes
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