Not many young people in countries around the world go to and enjoy concerts and plays. Why is this the case? Should they be encouraged to attend?

#people #countries #world #concerts #case

Music

acts as a stress buster for many individuals. Nowadays, the youth of different nations are not interesting to attend live

music

This

essay will

first

discuss the reasons for

this

trend and will

also

suggest measures for increasing participation in the gig. On the one hand, there are numerous factors associated with not enjoying a live performance. Expensive ticket of shows is the prime reason behind it. As most of the adults are studying or bust in searching the jobs. So

juvileine

Correct your spelling

jubilee

do not have much money to buy

such

highly priced tickets. A recent survey conducted by the National live

music

industry reported that more than fifty per cent of

people

enjoying

music

festivals are between the age of 35 to 60. Apart from

this

, new contents are easily available OTT platform so young

people

prefer to listen to the melodious while sitting at their comfort places without any kind of distraction which leads to more satisfaction. There are various measures that can be constructively structured to increase the number of

people

who come to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

the

music

play.

Music

concerts are playing a conducive role to know more about heritage and culture.

This

will not only help to create a connection with the roots of the country but

also

bring

people

together. It has been observed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the more

people

know about their origin, the more they will attach to their motherland. Another way to combat

this

music

Add a missing verb

is music

show examples

helps to relax the mind and

also

relieve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress.

Thus

resulting in improving health conditions. To conclude, spending money on an expensive experience is no longer appealing to the youth.

Music

acts as rejuvenation.

Submitted by Shifali sharma on Mon Oct 18 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Not many young people in countries around the world go to and enjoy concerts and plays. Why is this the case? Should they be encouraged to attend?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that entertainers (e.g.film stars, pop musicians or sports stars)are paid too much money.Do you agree or disagree?which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specIt is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?