Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #towns #malls

It is argued that more

parks

and sports equipment should be built in cities rather than shopping centres. I completely agree with the idea to have more public gardens and fitness tools as many benefits can be seen on

this

behaviour. It is said that the more shopping

malls

a city has, the more economical benefits it will receive.

However

, too many shopping

malls

bring a lot of problems.

For example

people

usually drive to shopping

malls

which possibly cause traffic congestions nearby.

In addition

, big plazas usually consume much more electricity and water than

parks

, easily leading to resources waste problems and doing harm to the environment.

Finally

people

are more likely to be affected by epidemics including flu from attending indoor activities like visiting shopping centres

Conversely

, humans can't live without green plantations.

First

, green trees and grass bring a positive ecosystem as they could take in CO2 we exhale or emitted by our cars and

then

expel oxygen.

Thus

, humans can breathe fresh air, doing good to health.

Second

, urban citizens do need a place and slow down their pace. Modern

people

tend to suffer more pressure than before,

thus

sports equipment and leisure facilities should be more accessible to help them relieve.

Finally

, affected by global warming, the weather is getting higher. Trees in the

parks

offer big shadows where

people

could stay to avoid hot sunshine. In conclusion,

parks

and gardens are beneficial to humans and their living environment while negative influences can be seen on too many shopping

malls

Submitted by kev4313 on Mon Oct 18 2021

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such as
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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