IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environment. Discuss both views.

There are two controversial views about the tourism industry.
While
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 some consider that it damages the environment, others think that tourism benefits the economy of the nation.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and support them with reasonable examples. On the one hand, the travel industry has many benefits for the country's economy.
Firstly
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, it may create lots of
workplaces
Check wording
jobs
show examples
 for the residents of host countries, which in turn reduces the unemployment rate.
For example
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, on average, one hotel is able to provide 200 job vacancies.
Secondly
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, the local population can take advantage of
this
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 by selling things
such
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 as souvenirs and handicrafts.
This
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 can considerably increase the living standard of the citizens.
For instance
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, in every tourist country, there are many people who make a fortune during
hot
Correct article usage
the hot
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 seasons.
On the other hand
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, advocates of another opinion claim that the tourism industry can be harmful to the natural world.
Firstly
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,
touristry
Use the right word
tourism
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 causes pollution.
This
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 situation mainly
creates
Verb problem
occurs
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 in well-known tourist places
such
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 as the Eiffel Tower,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 Colosseum, and the Statue of Liberty. For the reason that in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 places
rush
Correct article usage
the rush
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 of visitors
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 higher
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will create lots of
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
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 and water pollution.
Secondly
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, modern infrastructure like big hotels and roads
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
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heats
Check wording
vast amounts
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 of resources, acting as
landscape
Correct article usage
a landscape
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 and trees, which are the main habitats of animals.
This
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 kind of development will not
destroy only
Correct word order
only destroy
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 the living territory,
animals
Check wording
but also threaten
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lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 respectively will be threatened. In conclusion, both sides have sensible arguments.
However
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, the pieces of evidence provided for the first view
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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 those of
in
Change preposition
apply
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the second.

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coherence
Make the links between ideas clearer with simple link words and a topic sentence for each paragraph.
content
Give ideas with clear proof and explain how each example supports the point.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling mistakes, for example use tourism instead of touristry and use these places.
structure
End with a short, clear conclusion that shows your view.
structure
The essay has a plan with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
It tries to cover both views and gives examples.
lexical
It uses famous places as examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • generate income
  • local economy
  • development
  • infrastructures
  • quality of life
  • cultural heritage
  • authentic experiences
  • detrimental effects
  • pollution
  • natural habitats
  • depletion
  • natural resources
  • overcrowding
  • carbon footprint
  • global climate change
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental impacts
  • conservation
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