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Band 4.5

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. what are the reasons for this and, suggest some solutions.

#levels #youth #crime #cities #world
Nowadays, many countries are facing an alarming rate of crimes especially
based on
Verb problem
against
show examples
 teenagers.
this
 essay will discuss why
this
 has happened and how we can come up from
this
 situation. First of all, problems within the nuclear family are the key reasons and
this
 will lead a child to behave aggressively.
The recent
Correct article usage
Recent
show examples
 research, done by the
world
Correct your spelling
World Youth Organization
show examples
youth
 organization, shows that more than 50% of
children
 are nurtured by single parents and their behaviours are so weird compared to other
children
.
Secondly
, the increasing level of poverty will often lead
youth
 to misbehave, for ,instance involved in a robbery to enrich their lifestyle.
Further
, social media
also
 provides a platform where
youth
 can easily engage in unwanted things
such
 as parties with drugs and they are willing to spend high prices for entry tickets. In terms of solutions,
firstly
, the government should induce strict punishments for teenagers who are involved in major crimes and they can form
youth
 centres or evening classes as
youth
 can not find enough time to do unwanted things.
Moreover
, parents
also
 have responsibilities to provide better guidelines to their
children
 and need to spend most of their time with them which will motivate them to achieve something valuable in their life. Parents need to motivate their
children
 to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in extracurricular activities
such
 as sports, music, or dance
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
youth
 have very little or no time to go to parties. Today, the world facing a significant level of increase in the level of
youth
 crime. As we discussed here there are several reasons involved in
this
 dramatic increase,
however
, we have some remedies to overcome
this
 problem as well.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and effectiveness. The essay lacks a clear logical structure, which affects the coherence and cohesion of the ideas. Try to organize your ideas in a more systematic and logical manner.
task response
While the essay addresses the reasons for increasing youth crime and provides some solutions, the response is not fully developed. Try to provide more comprehensive ideas and use relevant, specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
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