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Writing Samples
Band 5

IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVE THAT NOWADAYS MAIN FACTOR THAT AFFECT A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT ARE MEDIA,POP CULTURE AND FRIENDS.A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW IS THAT FAMILY PLAYS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ROLE.DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

5.0 / 9
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Introduction
In a rapidly developing world,people believe that
major
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the major
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 part that affects a
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child
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’s growth
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 social media, pop
culture
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 and their
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friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
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 circle.
Moreover
Linking Words
,some
person
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people
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 trust that family plays a very important
role
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 in
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child’s
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a child’s
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development
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. In my opinion, family plays a vital
role
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 in
life
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the life
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 of children
development
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.The essay will discuss both these
point
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points
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 of
views
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view
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 and elucidates the harmful effect of media,
culture
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 and
friends
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 on
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child’s
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a child’s
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development
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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teenagers are happy in spending most of their valuable time on social media like
facebook
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Facebook
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,
instagram
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Instagram
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 and
whatsapp
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WhatsApp
Whatsapp
 etc. which is why they are not aware of their
culture
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 and values of religion .
In addition
Linking Words
to
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apply
show examples
,
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children
childrens
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children
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 love to spend time with their
friends
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,
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apply
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 while playing video games they do chatting with their
friends
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 and use vulgar language which is
important
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an important
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role
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 in affecting
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child’s
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a child’s
show examples
development
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
recent
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a recent
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 survey in
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India
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india
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,india
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 its has been observed that teenagers are lacking behind in studies as compared to
2015
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the 2015
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 survey because of more interest
towards
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in
show examples
 their bad lifestyle.
Thus
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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culture
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 shows that how
child
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 growth is affecting them by choosing their own way.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some people think that family plays a significant
role
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 in
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child’s
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a child’s
show examples
development
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 and
their
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apply
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lifestyle. As parents
loves
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love
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 their
child
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, so they
teaches
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teach
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 them how to respect their
culture
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 and value them,which helps in knowing
history
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the history
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 of their
culture
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 and religion.
Body paragraph 3
Moreover
Linking Words
,parents are the best teacher for children in many ways,as they help in studying and clarifies the doubt in a simpler way.On top of that , parents involve their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 in cultural activities and games which help them in their
development
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as,one of my
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friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
show examples
child
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 who is 5 years old get
name
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a name
the name
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 in limca book of the year award, As she
know
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knows
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 100 poems, 50
story
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stories
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,
mathl
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math
 tables till 30 etc.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
its
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it's
it is
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 always better to grow in good
culture
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 and society which help
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child’s
Add an article
a child’s
the child’s
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 in their growth and
development
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.In my opinion, I believe family plays a significant
role
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 in
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Use synonyms
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
development
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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