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Inspite of the advances made in agriculture , many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#inspite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Most people around the globe are
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 working vigorously for lengthy hours.
This
 is due to
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
increasing competition among the
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
 and our willingness to strive and be the best.In
this
process
Add a comma
,process
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 we forget to allocate some of the
time
 to our personal development.We often allocate very little
time
 for
leisure
activities
.
This
 kind of situation is very bad and I feel it has more disadvantages than benefits. Due to long working hours,I feel there is no proper
time
 allocated for our mental well being.We
work
 so long
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that we forget our own mental peace and happiness.After a hectic long day,
Add a hyphen
in-home
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in
Change preposition
at
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home
Add an article
the home
a home
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 even if we take out
time
 to spend on
leisure
activities
,we would be so tired
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that it would be very difficult for us to concentrate on those
activities
.We often feel to take rest as soon as we reach home after the end of
work
.There would be a
time
 we feel
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
burned out due to
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 working schedule which would lead to an improper balance between
work
 and life.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
 Since we prioritize
work
 over
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
leisure
activities
 and hobbies,it leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great dissatisfaction in our life.It definitely affects our mental health.Due to globalization,
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
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 economy we as human beings are bombarded with
never ending
Add a hyphen
never-ending
show examples
 and extensive
work
,which would affect our
time
 for
leisure
activities
.Few more disadvantages would be no
time
 to look after our family,no
time
 to spend socially with our friends and relatives.So I feel even if we take
out
Add an article
the out
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time
 we might physically be present with our friends and family,but mentally we might still be in the working environment. To conclude,I do not agree with long working hours.
Instead
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,Instead
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 try to maintain a balance between
work
 and life which helps every individual to grow exponentially in career and socially.
Submitted by gangasanirohit on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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