Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of people often attribute happiness
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
money
and consider it as an essential commodity for Joy. While many of them, are of the opinion that
money
has nothing to do with happiness. I strongly agree with the former, Since it does help us indirectly to a
cerain
Correct your spelling
certain
extent, if not directly.
Firstly
, One of the advantages of being rich is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
you can have people around you all the time. Even if it means that they are accompanying you for your
money
and not for your personality.
In addition
to
this
, being affluent can help you when you contract any illness
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since you can get timely treatment from the best of doctors and hospitals as you can afford it.
For example
, wealthy people often travel to different countries for medical treatment or
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
Secondly
, Whether we like it or not,
Money
has become one of the most important things in
this
world. Without
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, we cannot even have basic
ammenities
Correct your spelling
amenities
such
as Housing, Food and Shelter, etc. One of the reasons behind our hustle is so that we make enough
money
to keep our families happy. It is very difficult to be poor and content most of the time.
For Instance
, Suppose
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
kid wants to go on a school picnic and that requires additional funds. They will
be definitely be
Change the verb form
definitely be
show examples
sad if you deny them permission or required
captial
Correct your spelling
capital
. To Sum it up, In
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world, Being rich is what everyone desires the most. The feeling of earning more
money
also
gives us some sense of happiness and content.
Submitted by vikram400059 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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