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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development
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Globalization had changed everything, and
educational
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the educational
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 field hadn't been untouched. In earlier times,
students
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 used to receive their
education
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 in
home
Correct pronoun usage
their home
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 countries , whereas now,
students
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 prefer to study overseas. Undoubtedly,
this
Linking Words
 trend has more advantages than disadvantages.
First
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 and foremost, studying abroad led
students
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 to gain that part of
education
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 , which is not available in their own
country
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. Notable, every nationality
have
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has
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 its unique
education
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 system which is the backbone of that
country
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's development, so
this
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 type of learning would make
students
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 more efficient and successful. Adding to it, studying out of
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country
Add an article
the country
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 makes
students
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 self-dependent , because all the uncountable services that
students
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 used to have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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done from parents are now completely
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 them,
for example
Linking Words
: cooking, financial, and other household chores.
Next
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 , foreign
education
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 has always been considered an asset when it comes to a job opportunity,
accordingly
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, after completing
education
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 whenever
students
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 fetch for
job
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a job
the job
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 in their native
country
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 they tend to have
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better placement. Looking at
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side, staying far as abroad tend to make
students
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 homesick and lonely, recently I've heard about many
students
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 who dropped off their previous
education
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 and came back , which is sad because studying abroad is not cheap . Concluding, foreign
education
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 indeed is a lucrative option , but have some considerable drawbacks as well.
Students
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 and parents should be well prepared before taking up
such
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 decisions.
Submitted by Nikitaepic03 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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