IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects
Some argued that sports are an essential subject at school, while others believe students must use their time to learn mathematics
subjects
 more.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints, and I will state my opinion by a reasoned conclusion. From childhood, people have to build their physically and mentally health,
therefore
, it is utter important college students have physical training subject from the beginning. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant, by planning cricket, children learn to achieve a common goal with a group of people where they can learn the group work as well. Sport teaches to handle the win and lost situations and, it will be beneficial to the entire life.
Therefore
, physical classes bring more value for child development.
On the other hand
, academic
subjects
 are more important to find a carrier path in future; basically, an institute is a primary place where a child can get the subject knowledge.
As a result
, professionals
such
 as doctors, engineers, accountants can build.
Moreover
, studying mathematic
subjects
 can develop children’s logical thinking side.
Also
, they tend to think out of the box to resolve the logic matters.
Thus
, academic
subjects
 playing a massive role in being selected for universities and get a technical job in the carrier path. In conclusion, both approaches need to have in school life to build a successful man, in future, who can work with the team and achieving their professional target as well as grow other skills. According to my perspective, both academic and non-academic
subjects
 are equally important for college students.
Submitted by masha27d on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: