The working week should be shorter, and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree.

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There is currently a contentious argument over whether working weekdays should be shorter,
while
others think
workers
should be given longer
weekends
. In my opinion, I agree that
workers
should be given longer
weekends
to improve the work-life balance atmosphere and
also
improve their mental health.
To begin
with, every individual in the world always wishes they had a longer weekend to carry out many activities. In today's society, when choosing a job or career most people tend to look for a company that can enable them to have a better work-life balance.
For example
, at Mackay Regional Council, staff are entitled to a roster day off on any day of the week.
Hence
,
this
enables employees to be able to have time for other family matters or personal life functions.
In addition
, A shorter working week can lead to increased productivity as employees are less likely to experience burnout and are more motivated.
Furthermore
, longer
weekends
can
also
help improve the mental health of
workers
. With longer
weekends
,
workers
can have enough time to relax, spend time with their families, and pursue hobbies, which can significantly improve mental well-being.
For example
, statistics revealed in the Vanguard newspaper show that about 80 per cent of an individual missed their kids' birthdays
due to
working on the weekend.
Hence
, a longer weekend can foster a better life for every individual on the planet. In conclusion, I completely agree that working weekdays should be short and
weekends
should be longer because it helps improve life for
familie
Correct your spelling
families
sand
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
also
enhances prosperity, efficiency, and a positive environment.
Submitted by igiedaniel07 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the topic are fully addressed. While the essay is well-structured, both sides of the argument could be discussed more comprehensively to show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Work on making transitions between ideas and paragraphs smoother. For instance, using more transition phrases would make the essay more coherent.
grammar
Avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing to make your argument clearer and more professional.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the essay's topic and your position on it.
supported main points
Relevant examples are provided to support your arguments.
logical structure
The essay shows logical progression of ideas and maintains a clear structure throughout.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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