IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

#people #children #thirties #trend #benefit #society
In my opinion, I felt that people in their early twenties might not have the experience in handling a stable marriage and financial wealth due to their young age without capital savings as they might not be able to support their children and themselves without it. In return, they will be unhappy throughout their lives having insufficient capital in their savings. At a young age in their twenties, they might be lacking work and
life
 exposure which might have lots of problems when coming to terms with providing for their family
such
 as baby essential needs, housing rental, renovation and marriage commitment.
In contrast
, people in their thirties might have developed sufficient experiences in the later stage which enables them to earn higher income and providing a better
life
 for their children.
Moreover
, with higher income in salary motivates them to be emotionally satisfied in
life
 and to do well in the future. In conclusion, people in their thirties have developed gradually to achieve financial status and generally do well in
life
 to benefit society.
Submitted by ddj992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic stability
  • financial security
  • mature decision making
  • life goals
  • child welfare
  • emotionally equipped
  • population growth control
  • resource management
  • environmental sustainability
  • changing social norms
  • traditional timelines
  • personal freedom
  • social diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: