IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Money
Use synonyms
 cannot buy everything, whereas everything needs to use
money
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, folks have to work to obtain a wage. While there are those people who claim that the employees should accept an unhappy situation, some argue that they should try to do something to enhance their life. From my perspective, I agree that people should be enthusiastic to improve their career path because it will help them to live better.
Although
Linking Words
 everyone knows that they have to change their work for some reason, they could not find a better
job
Use synonyms
 because the more salary they can get, the more responsibility required.
For example
Linking Words
, the employee, who wants to be a manager, has to show to everyone that he appropriates for
this
Linking Words
 position either experience or attribute, making their co-workers accept him.
However
Linking Words
, there are a small number of those workers who are able to do it successfully because their skills are not enough to receive a position that can gain a lot of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may lead them to accept these situations due to they know that they could not go any
further
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
 modern age, young people have some attitude that totally contrasts with the old generation population, resulting in they will change their
job
Use synonyms
 when they found that they are no longer want to stay at that company.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to those workforces have to challenge themself for searching somewhere they are happy with. To do that, they must have some special abilities that others do not have because it is better to choose a company rather than pray the company to choose them. To conclude, everyone does not want to work an unsatisfied
job
Use synonyms
 or a
job
Use synonyms
 that can get less
money
Use synonyms
,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, they need to strengthen themself to have value enough to reject all those bad situations
otherwise
Linking Words
, what they can do is just accept it.
Submitted by phantomdancing1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: