IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that watching sports is wastage during leisure time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #wastage #leisure #time
Watching
sports
 has always been gratifying to all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
enthusiastics
Correct your spelling
enthusiasts
enthusiastic
, be it watching on a television or sitting in the arena and cheering on their teams or sportsmen. The only debatable question by some people is, whether the amount of time spent on watching
sports
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
 as wasting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable time, even if watching
sports
 in the leisure hour of
day
Add an article
the day
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss my views on how
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 opinion by looking into different perspectives.
Firstly
, Watching games tends to give a lot of motivation and inspiration to the viewer. A person who is keen
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 playing
sports
 but hesitant
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can get motivated by watching their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 sportsmen play.
Likewise
, an
althlete
Correct your spelling
athlete
 can make an inspirational impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the spectators with his
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and dedication towards a game.
For example
, my brother
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 a tennis
player
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
often loves watching his inspirational
player
 Rodger Federer play the sport and gets motivated to play like him and strive to reach his goal
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to excel in his sport.
This
 way watching
sports
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
create
 a great impact on the spectators.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, A coach will always ask the trainee to watch and learn in the early practice stage. In a similar way,
through
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a players perspective, watching a game helps them improve their skillset by observing the other professional sportsmen play in the field. They get to learn different tactics and improve themselves as a good
player
. To conclude, watching
sports
 in leisure hour of the day does not mean that its a wastage of time.
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
, it actually teaches and motivates a
sports
 lover or a
player
.
Submitted by manojvamc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: