IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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At present,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is becoming a modern association as the technologies have a crucial role in living life and it has been developing continuously for a long period by expertise and a government for
responsibility
Replace the word
responding
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 to the
next
Linking Words
 generations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it pursues the mindset of some population admire that we have an opportunity and many approaches which can choose by ourselves. I completely agree
in
Change preposition
with
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this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will give the outline of having various alternatives for citizens.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, technology and innovation are the one of motivation to human beings. As the observation, I consider in education part that we can search
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 easily
in
Change the preposition
on
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 the internet by using the advantages of technology. At the same time, when we have electrical devices in learning at school, university and work, these devices are comfortable and portable in finding
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 whether we are at accommodation or outside.
For example
Linking Words
, children and teachers require whatever they want to perceive for increased competency they can get the documentary and books quickly through an email.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they do not
wasted
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waste
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 time
in
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apply
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waiting
Add the preposition
forwaiting
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 those who transmit the documentary or knowledge and
also
Linking Words
 save much money in
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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 a paper.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can select
a
Remove the article
apply
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transportation cheaply as
this
Linking Words
 period has a substantial number of vehicles in
marketplace
Add an article
the marketplace
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. The advanced technologies are created immediately and easier than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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20 years ago because
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 have acquired
the
Correct article usage
apply
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support from the government in their regions.
For instance
Linking Words
, some people select the
electricity
Replace the word
electric
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 vehicle or is called EV car which
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not need to utilize oil, can use the electricity
instead
Linking Words
 of the oil.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the type of
this
Linking Words
 vehicle can reduce the expense due to increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
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oil
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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. In brief, people have many choices that are provided
from
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by
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 other organizations for changed
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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 in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 era. They should collaborate with other sectors for sustainable development with life.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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