IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted

Dear Mr. Aseem, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to ask your permission to give a
presentation
Use synonyms
 about new
immigration
Use synonyms
 policies. As you must know that I
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
attended David Cohen's
Immigration
Use synonyms
 conference in Canada
last
Linking Words
 week and I have learned useful
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 from that seminar which I would like to present
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to the
immigration
Use synonyms
procesing
Correct your spelling
processing
 officers who
couldnt
Correct your spelling
were
able
Correct word choice
unable
show examples
 to join
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me there. The
presentation
Use synonyms
 will
be comprises
Wrong verb form
comprise
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the new
immigration
Use synonyms
 rules for skilled workers and how they can approach the designated employers in Canada from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overseas. It would
also
Linking Words
breif
Correct your spelling
brief
 the procedure about how to
tie-up
Use the right word
tie up
show examples
 with the genuine companies
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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recruite
Correct your spelling
recruit
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside Canada.
Besides
Linking Words
,
processing
Correct article usage
the processing
show examples
 department, I want
Sales
Correct article usage
the Sales
show examples
 team to participate in
this
Linking Words
one hour
Use the right word
one-hour
show examples
presentation
Use synonyms
 to understand the process that how we are going to enhance our services to get a client a suitable job offer. Since I am thinking
to present
Change preposition
of presenting
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea through
ppt
Use the right word
PPT
show examples
,
conference
Correct article usage
the conference
show examples
 room would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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perfect for the
presentation
Use synonyms
. I appreciate for
considering
Replace the word
consideration
show examples
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 plan. Thank You. Yours sincerely, Brijal Desai

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grammar
Improve grammar and form. Use correct verb forms and spell words correctly. Break long sentences into shorter ones.
structure
Make clear paragraphs. Start with a short intro, then body, then closing. Each paragraph should hold one main idea.
content
Be precise about the plan. State the type of talk, topics to cover, length, who will take part, and where it will be held in a clear way.
vocabulary
Check the spelling of common words (information, processing, recruit, brief). Use standard phrases in a formal letter.
tone
Keep a formal tone. Use 'Dear Mr/ Ms', 'Yours sincerely', and avoid extra phrases like 'Thank You' in the middle.
purpose
The letter has a clear request to present.
content
It gives a basic plan of the talk, including duration and place.
form
The letter uses a formal greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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