IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people want to buy famous brands in clothes cars and other items . What are the reasons behind this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In our present
world
Use synonyms
, luxury
items
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 reflect one’s status level in a community. Several individuals purchase branded
items
Use synonyms
 in clothing, vehicles or others. I strongly believe it’s a negative notion as
such
Linking Words
 influence on
people
Use synonyms
 could divert
people
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 from education and encourage
in
Change preposition
apply
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unwanted spending. On the one side, the most significant reason for using branded
items
Use synonyms
 allows one to express his/her social status and prosperity which allow them
show
Add the particle
to show
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 off and demand respect off it. In our modern
world
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,
people
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 value materialistic
items
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such
Linking Words
 as watches or phones which makes them distinct and different from
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the
world
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.
For example
Linking Words
, iPhones are considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
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symbol
Add an article
a symbol
the symbol
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 of social status and because of
this
Linking Words
 most celebrities in the
world
Use synonyms
use
Add a comma
,use
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apple
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Apple
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 phones are their primary daily driver as compared to other brands.
Therefore
Linking Words
, give a sense of worthiness and confidence without actually saying
out
Correct pronoun usage
it out
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 loud. On the other side,
such
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trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
 develops a negative effect. The primary reason illustrates the unwanted spending and illegal means of acquiring it.
This
Linking Words
 could
further
Linking Words
 attenuate young minds to purchase expensive
items
Use synonyms
 more than they could afford and
this
Linking Words
 could lead to committing illegal acts in order to earn extra cash.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China, a teenager was enticed to sell his kidney to an illegal organ trafficker to acquire
lump
Correct article usage
a lump
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 sum
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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 to purchase the latest iPhone.
Thus
Linking Words
 clouding
people
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 to commit unwanted offences to buy expensive
items
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. In conclusion, I feel costly
items
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 don’t value ones
moral
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morals
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 and character, it makes them more shallow and selfish.
People
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 need to be educated or educate themselves to be
better
Add an article
a better
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 and prevent them from being under the influence of
such
Linking Words
 useless
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social Status
  • Proliferation
  • Globalization
  • Targeted Advertising
  • Perceived Value
  • Desirability
  • Reliability
  • Peer Pressure
  • Consumer Satisfaction
  • Innovation
  • Competition
  • Excessive Consumerism
  • Social Classes
  • Detract
  • Appreciation
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