IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballers #time #people
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There is often argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
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 is appealed by
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of
celebrities
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 to how they live or have a relationship with.
In contrast
Linking Words
, it is less common to debate
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life
Correct article usage
the life
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 of normal
people
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 when they have a usual
life
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. I completely agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that famous
people
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 get more attraction to the information of
media
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 and makes a sense of interaction for the users. As
the
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apply
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technology is advancing, the
media
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 has been developing by a source of information, while
people
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 can every day catch up with the latest news, released movies, etc.
in other words
Linking Words
, the
media
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 is a visual place to keep
people
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 up to date.
Celebrities
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, actors and other popular
people
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 can share their abilities and performances
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
Use synonyms
. Because of
attractions
Correct article usage
the attractions
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 of
life
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’s
celebrities
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 and famous
people
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, the
media
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 keep their data online with these
people
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.
Furthermore
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,
celebrities
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 as the most popular
people
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 in the world are a symbol of
way
Add an article
the way
a way
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 of profound living. To clarify the matter, once
celebrities
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 were ordinary and have a normal
life
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,
then
Linking Words
 they have got famous and rich. Their way of
life
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 can learn others to find their best path
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. In fact, making them
as
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apply
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a crucial and successful role model in their
life
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. In conclusion, I personally believe that often the latest news is taken by
celebrities
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’
life
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. Paying more attention to
celebrities
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 in the
media
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 could make a vision of successful
life
Use synonyms
 for
people
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 who could educate how normal
people
Use synonyms
 can find their path to become
enrich
Wrong verb form
enriched
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 and
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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