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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. Some people believe this exerts a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #foods #people #effect #families #societies
Nowadays, our society has dramatically changed from globalization to the country's economic development.
Therefore
, we can see an increasing number of international fast
foods
 everywhere around the world.
However
, whether international fast
foods
 become more popular and
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 more harm than good is a controversial issue. For families, fast
food
 will affect the quality of communication between family members. Unlike traditional
food
, it may take a long time for a family to participate in it. People need to purchase, cook and wait. During
this
 period, the family has a lot of time to exchange various contents,
such
 as
food
 culture or experience in
food
 making. But now fast
food
 is so convenient that people can click on their mobile phone and deliver it to the table in 30 minutes. The time between them is short, and the communication between family members is declining. If fast
food
 is eaten at family gatherings, the relationship between extended families will be more affected. For society, fast
food
 will increase the medical burden. As a product of industrial products,
such
 as hamburgers, sandwiches, pizzas, and other staple
foods
, fast
food
 has high sugar and salt content. That will make users more likely to suffer from a range of related diseases,
such
 as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity, and so on. It has undoubtedly increased the pressure and expenditure of social health care. In summary, most fast
foods
 are always unhealthy.
Therefore
 the parents should provide their children with nourishing
foods
 rather than fast
foods
. They are even cultivating their good eating habits by doing we can make sure that our children will be more healthy.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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