IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. Some people believe this exerts a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Nowadays, our society has dramatically changed from globalization to the country's economic development.
Therefore
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, we can see an increasing number of international fast
foods
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 everywhere around the world.
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, whether international fast
foods
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 become more popular and
brings
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bring
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 more harm than good is a controversial issue. For families, fast
food
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 will affect the quality of communication between family members. Unlike traditional
food
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, it may take a long time for a family to participate in it. People need to purchase, cook and wait. During
this
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 period, the family has a lot of time to exchange various contents,
such
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 as
food
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 culture or experience in
food
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 making. But now fast
food
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 is so convenient that people can click on their mobile phone and deliver it to the table in 30 minutes. The time between them is short, and the communication between family members is declining. If fast
food
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 is eaten at family gatherings, the relationship between extended families will be more affected. For society, fast
food
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 will increase the medical burden. As a product of industrial products,
such
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 as hamburgers, sandwiches, pizzas, and other staple
foods
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, fast
food
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 has high sugar and salt content. That will make users more likely to suffer from a range of related diseases,
such
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 as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity, and so on. It has undoubtedly increased the pressure and expenditure of social health care. In summary, most fast
foods
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 are always unhealthy.
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 the parents should provide their children with nourishing
foods
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 rather than fast
foods
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. They are even cultivating their good eating habits by doing we can make sure that our children will be more healthy.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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