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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #weight #people #level #health #fitness #measures
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In
Correct article usage
a
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few countries, even though the number of obese
people
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are
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is
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increasing,
people
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's attention on health and fitness are declining. In my opinion, junk foods and technological advancements are the main elements
which
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that
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 lead to
obesity
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 .
However
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, there are some effective ways
which
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that
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 can be incorporated to solve these issues . To begin with , junk
food
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 consumption is one of the reasons to become obese. In contemporary times, most
people
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 prefer to eat fast
food
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 as it is tastier and addictive.
Moreover
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, junk foods contain high calories due to excess fat, salt and carbohydrates.
Moreover
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, consuming
such
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 high caloric diet will eventually lead individuals to gain more weight. Technological advancement ultimately leads
people
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 to have an unhealthy lifestyle. Nowadays through technology, basic needs are provided at their
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doorsteps
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door steps
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doorsteps
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. For instance, one man can order his
food
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 and other requirements through online portals
such
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 as swiggy, amazon etc. In
this
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 modern era, these progressions help
people
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 to have sedentary life patterns which
inturn
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in turn
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 cause
obesity
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.
Moreover
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,
obesity
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 will cause other diseases
such
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 as diabetes and hypertension. As a result, that may give rise to serious
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health
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healt h
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health
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 conditions in individuals. To overcome
obesity
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,
people
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 ought to implement
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a
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balance
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balanced
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 diet and
exercises
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exercise
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 as their daily routine.
Balanced
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A balanced
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 diet can provide a
person
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 with adequate calories, vitamins and minerals.
This
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 restricts the
high calorie
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high-calorie
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 intake of a
person
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.
Further
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,
excercising
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exercising
 daily would assist a
person
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 in burning extra fat in the body.
This
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 will eliminate the
possibilities
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possibility
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 of gaining weight. In addition,
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the
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government can
also
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 formulate laws
to
Change preposition
for
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Add an article
the
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food
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 industry to limit the caloric content of
the
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apply
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manufactured products. To conclude,
an
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apply
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individual health consciousness products can reduce
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the
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risk factors of
obesity
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 and promotes the health of a
person
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. Government can amend more
food
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 safety laws to provide quality foods to citizens.
Submitted by dr.prem132 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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