IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

"Some people argue that missing school to take part in climate change protests is beneficial for young people. Others believe that children should remain in school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #part #climate #change #protests #children
A number of
climate
 activists assume that it is critical for students to participate in
climate
 change protests while some parents affirm that youngsters had a better focus on learning at school. In my perspective, I partly agree with
this
 view and I shall put forth some ideas to exemplify my points with lucid examples in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, being a part of a large scale protest regarding
climate
 protection may help attendants acknowledge current obstacles and shortcomings that affect their natural habitat.
Hence
, it may encourage teenagers to become more responsible for protecting nature and motivate their intimates to follow their actions.
Additionally
, a remarkable number of protesters around the world may create political pressure on international governments and global businesses, which may encourage them to act sustainably and responsibly to nature. Joining these types of events may be a great occasion to meet like-minded people and broaden the network of young protesters.
On the other hand
, there are several setbacks that need to be considered seriously. At
first
, the primary goal of adolescents is to study and achieve remarkable academic results.
Therefore
, skipping classes to take part in
climate
 change protests may lead to deleterious effects on learning productivity and the academic outcome of learners.
Nevertheless
, in some institutions, if a pupil misses more than 20% of lectures, she may not be eligible to attend the final exam.
Secondly
, some events may not be secure to juveniles as they may face aggressive protesters or criminals from the crowd and get unexpected injuries or accidents. In conclusion, while I believe that attending environmental protests may help invigorate the self-consciousness of young participants, I still affirm that students should not let these events affect their learning progresses.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: