The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

allotment of money to
education
is more helpful and an amount of allocated to the art culture should be decreased. To I large extent disagree with
this
statement,
also
I will prove my side by giving some causes and examples.
firstly
, If
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
will decline the
budget
amount for the art
then
culture will start to
diminished
Wrong verb form
diminish
show examples
because a
budget
is helped to renovate the historical building.
moreover
, useful in preserving
things
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
are from ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
For example
, Jaipur Museum
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
stored many
things
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used by The Kings of India.
In addition
, the Taj Mahal is a sign of love and made by the King in remembering of Mumtaj. Our generation can see it easily if
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
take
take
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
care of
this
items and places.
Secondly
, many families
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
continue their tradition , living on the money of
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
because they do have not many buyers who buy
things
from them. Many times traditional
things
are very expensive because it is made by hand.
For instance
, Patan Patola in Gujarat, it is handwoven by workers and takes 3-4 months in making
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
so it is expensive and many not can afford,
that is
why
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should encourage them by providing pension so they are not getting bore and continue our traditions.
In contrast
,
education
is
powerful
Add an article
a powerful
show examples
tool for the growth of the nation. price of the
education
budget
increase
then
many poorer children can go to a school as well as school increase. After, educated the youth to improve
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
of the country by increasing jobs,wealth.
Similarly
, improve the atmosphere of a society. as
such
, APJ Abdul kalam who come from a poor family and became a prime minister of India and Indian defence power was raised by him,
thus
poor kids
also
have a right to get
education
Add an article
an education
the education
show examples
and be a part of making society good. To summarise, preserving a culture is more important to carry our tradition in the
next
generation so that a
budget
should be maintained by
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
,but
education
is part of public life so
increased
Add an article
the increased
show examples
price for the
education
if
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
have extra money but not by the reduction of the art
budget
.
Submitted by sutariyajuli343 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: