The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

#government #budget #arts #money #education

allotment of money to

education

is more helpful and an amount of allocated to the art culture should be decreased. To I large extent disagree with

this

statement,

also

I will prove my side by giving some causes and examples.

firstly

, If

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

will decline the

budget

amount for the art

then

culture will start to

diminished

Wrong verb form

diminish

show examples

because a

budget

is helped to renovate the historical building.

moreover

, useful in preserving

things

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are from ancient

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

For example

, Jaipur Museum

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

stored many

things

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

used by The Kings of India.

In addition

, the Taj Mahal is a sign of love and made by the King in remembering of Mumtaj. Our generation can see it easily if

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

take

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

care of

this

items and places.

Secondly

, many families

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

continue their tradition , living on the money of

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

because they do have not many buyers who buy

things

from them. Many times traditional

things

are very expensive because it is made by hand.

For instance

, Patan Patola in Gujarat, it is handwoven by workers and takes 3-4 months in making

process

Add an article

the process

show examples

so it is expensive and many not can afford,

that is

why

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should encourage them by providing pension so they are not getting bore and continue our traditions.

In contrast

education

powerful

Add an article

a powerful

show examples

tool for the growth of the nation. price of the

education

budget

increase

then

many poorer children can go to a school as well as school increase. After, educated the youth to improve

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

of the country by increasing jobs,wealth.

Similarly

, improve the atmosphere of a society. as

such

, APJ Abdul kalam who come from a poor family and became a prime minister of India and Indian defence power was raised by him,

thus

poor kids

also

have a right to get

education

Add an article

an education

the education

show examples

and be a part of making society good. To summarise, preserving a culture is more important to carry our tradition in the

generation so that a

budget

should be maintained by

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

,but

education

is part of public life so

increased

Add an article

the increased

show examples

price for the

education

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

have extra money but not by the reduction of the art

budget

Submitted by sutariyajuli343 on Thu Oct 21 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

360 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People nowadays are living longer than before, resulting in increasing in aging population. Some people believe that this situation could create negative issues for the governments. While, others suggest there are some benefits.

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve better balance?

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.