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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are opting for and consuming ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Does this practice has more advantages than disadvantages? Discuss

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In the modern world, the majority of populations have hectic lifestyles.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is an increasing tendency that people will choose to consume ready to eat
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 rather than
meal
Add an article
a meal

The noun phrase meal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 cooked freshly. The concern about the defect of
frozen
Add an article
the frozen
a frozen

The noun phrase frozen meal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 meal is rising. In my opinion, I consider that the benefits of eating
ready
Correct article usage
a ready

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 meal outweigh the shortcoming.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, having packaged
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is beneficial to
population
Correct article usage
the population

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 nowadays since it saves time for humans.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in city lives, workers who have to drive or use public transit to work spend at least one to two hours on the cars or transportations due to the congestion of the vehicles on the road especially during peak hours. So, they do not have enough time for preparing the meal.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, hygiene is another key point of the reason why people select to have ready eat a meal because these nutriments have passed the process of quality inspection. Consumers can ensure the cleanness of the
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, exceeding consuming ready-made foodstuff can cause unpleasant consequences in long term. To illustrate, most of these kinds of
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 have less nutrition, as well as high calory. People who surpassingly eat packaged
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and do not exercise constantly tend to have health problems afterwards
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as obesity, high fat, or high pressure. To summarize, I personally conceive that frozen
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is gainful since it makes
preference
Correct your spelling
reference

The word preference doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 to human and its disadvantages are corrigible by avoiding regular dining ready to eat cusine.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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