IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

CCTV cameras are a common sight in town centres, on public transport and outside many businesses. They not only help identify and apprehend criminals but also serve as a crime deterrent. However, some people believe that they are intrusive and constitute a breach of privacy.

#cctv #cameras #sight #town #centres #transport #businesses #criminals #crime #deterrent #people #breach #privacy
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To avoid criminality
CCTV
Use synonyms
cameras
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
are used
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 in city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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. It helps to identify criminals and serves as a crime detector,
however
Linking Words
 it destroys
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
show examples
privacy
Use synonyms
 of citizens. In my opinion,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 for public
safety
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overweights
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overweight
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 its difficulties for any humankind
privacy
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all, while controlling the town
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 with the help of
CCTV
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cameras
Use synonyms
, citizens feel
Use synonyms
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 themself. Any kind of crime and
Correct your spelling
bullying
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bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
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 will be detected with camera control. If
suspective
Add an article
a suspective
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 person visits inaccessible places, there will be policy any
second
Linking Words
.
For example
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, people
meets
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meet
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 in the central square and provide their time well,
however
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 it is a place where thief and criminals spend their time to theft expensive goods.
Therefore
Linking Words
, police members would be able to control
such
Linking Words
 situations.
In addition
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should take
a
Remove the article
apply
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control
the
Change preposition
of the
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 whole system, and
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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 should lend a hand
for
Change preposition
to
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 leaders to make a clever and constructed system. People should have to trust
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CCTV
Use synonyms
cameras
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it keeps
safety
Use synonyms
 citizens life. There is a significant feature of having
cameras
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 and one of them is that, if public
safety
Use synonyms
 is done,
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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privacy
Use synonyms
 of anyone will
covered
Change the verb form
be covered
show examples
. To sum up,
CCTV
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cameras
Use synonyms
 are necessary to detect crimes and keep up
Use synonyms
safety
Add an article
the safety
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 of citizen’s life and
privacy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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