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Band 4

Fast food is becoming one part of life everywhere; this has bad effects on our lifestyles and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #effects #lifestyles #diet
Nowardays
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Nowadays
 majority of
people
 are spending of their time at
work
 more than being at
iregadless
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regardless
 of you are male or female.
This
 is due to economic expenses. Put simply
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time ago most
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 never used to go to
work
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 they used to do all the
choirs
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chores
show examples
 including making
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homemade
show examples
home made
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homemade
show examples
food
 and to attend to other needs of the house.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 close relatives used to visit and demonstrate their own cuisines to promote
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of
food
 and taste. For
this
 reason
that is
 why most
people
 opt for takeaways even though they know
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 unhealthy
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to agree that majority of
people
 are in for fast
food
 due to
people
hustle
Wrong verb form
hustling
show examples
 to put
food
 on the table. There is usually nobody at
home
 to attend to the house
upkeeping
Change the form of the verb
upkeep
show examples
. I strongly believe
this
 has endangered
people
's lifestyle medically. A lot of
people
 have turned to be obese leading to lots of chronic
dieseases
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diseases
 and
forsed
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forced
 to be on
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
 diet.
Conversley
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Conversely
 these
people
people
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
should hold workshops to campaign for going back to traditional was of preparing
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
 and eating
healthlife
Correct your spelling
health life
healthy life
 style.
People
 should be encouraged to grow their own organic
food
 even if it means purchasing them. There should be a duty roaster introduced to balance
work
 and
home
. In a
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 the balance of
work
 and
home
lifestle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 should be equal
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 for
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
 to stay healthy to reduce medical expenses and to stay healthy.
Submitted by takawirajudith195 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart diseases
  • nutritional deficiency
  • malnutrition
  • convenience
  • nutritional value
  • busy lifestyles
  • balanced meals
  • economic impact
  • lower-income groups
  • healthier alternatives
  • cultural heritage
  • culinary diversity
  • mass production
  • environmental degradation
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