IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your knowledge and experience.

#countries #shops
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many countries where
mini stores
Add a hyphen
mini-stores
show examples
 are shutting down. According to
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is negative and there could be many causes of it. So, we will be discussing all ideas and give relevant reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the small
shops
Use synonyms
 that are running in streets and on roads,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provide valuable items. Some
people
Use synonyms
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that after closing these big malls and hotels are being made which
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 makes city beautiful and these due to these
shops
Use synonyms
 our city looks dirty. But the question is can everyone afford to buy items from malls and eat food in Hotels. In
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 around 70 Percent population is that which earn on daily basis. They hardly earn 400 to 600 rupees in
day
Add an article
a day
show examples
. So, How can they afford
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
 and
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 foods from
such
Linking Words
 expensive places
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 If all these small stores get closed, how can a
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 man survive
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Another reason is that closing all the
mini
Add a hyphen
mini-shops
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 will take the employment of lots of
people
Use synonyms
 as in our country 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 have
shops
Use synonyms
. It will make them
umemployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
.
However
Linking Words
, it is true that plaza would give employment to some
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 but not all the
people
Use synonyms
 and these small
shops
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 a type of
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if suppose a shop shuts, It will
umemploy
Correct your spelling
employ
 the whole family as in future his son would have taken his place and run the
shops
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, another big cause is it will increase
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 in our country. At
last
Linking Words
, I would like to conclude by saying that it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 negative idea to shut all the
shops
Use synonyms
 as it
effect
Change the verb form
effects
show examples
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 as well as basic necessities of
Lower
Add an article
the Lower
a Lower
show examples
 class of our society.
Submitted by anash.suhail on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • supermarkets
  • online shopping
  • operating costs
  • brick-and-mortar
  • e-commerce
  • local culture
  • economic impact
  • social fabric
  • convenience
  • preservation
  • personalized service
  • small-scale retailers
  • consumer behavior
  • market dynamics
  • sustainable shopping
  • community cohesion
  • economic resilience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: