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Band 5

In many countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your knowledge and experience.

#countries #shops
There are many countries where
mini stores
Add a hyphen
mini-stores
show examples
 are shutting down. According to
Correct pronoun usage
my
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me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
this
 is negative and there could be many causes of it. So, we will be discussing all ideas and give relevant reasons.
Firstly
, the small
shops
 that are running in streets and on roads,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provide valuable items. Some
people
says
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say
show examples
 that after closing these big malls and hotels are being made which
too
Replace the word
to
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 makes city beautiful and these due to these
shops
 our city looks dirty. But the question is can everyone afford to buy items from malls and eat food in Hotels. In
India
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,India
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 around 70 Percent population is that which earn on daily basis. They hardly earn 400 to 600 rupees in
day
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a day
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. So, How can they afford
buying
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to buy
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 and
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
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 foods from
such
 expensive places
.
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?
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 If all these small stores get closed, how can a
middle class
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middle-class
show examples
 man survive
.
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?
show examples
 Another reason is that closing all the
mini
Add a hyphen
mini-shops
show examples
shops
 will take the employment of lots of
people
 as in our country 20
percent
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per cent
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 of
people
 have
shops
. It will make them
umemployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
.
However
, it is true that plaza would give employment to some
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 but not all the
people
 and these small
shops
 are
also
 a type of
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
For
example
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,example
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 if suppose a shop shuts, It will
umemploy
Correct your spelling
employ
 the whole family as in future his son would have taken his place and run the
shops
.
Therefore
, another big cause is it will increase
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 in our country. At
last
, I would like to conclude by saying that it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 negative idea to shut all the
shops
 as it
effect
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effects
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employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 as well as basic necessities of
Lower
Add an article
the Lower
a Lower
show examples
 class of our society.
Submitted by anash.suhail on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • supermarkets
  • online shopping
  • operating costs
  • brick-and-mortar
  • e-commerce
  • local culture
  • economic impact
  • social fabric
  • convenience
  • preservation
  • personalized service
  • small-scale retailers
  • consumer behavior
  • market dynamics
  • sustainable shopping
  • community cohesion
  • economic resilience
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